Given November 7, 2011 at Meyer's Mortuary via Video
By Sister Linda Fitzgerald Henderson
Cape Town, South Africa Mission
Daughter-in-law
Luella Thompson Henderson
July 21, 1919 – October 31, 2011
It might seem strange to some that a daughter-in-law would want to speak at her mother-in-law’s funeral, probably true in most cases. However, my mother-in-law was more like a mother to me than she would give herself credit for.
In the beginning she had every reason to be un-accepting of me, perhaps even judgmental. Quite the contrary, as she faced an opposition that could have been far her superior in words and actions she stood her ground and supported Karl and I in our union of marriage.
I found her home warm and loving, something I had experienced years before in the Synder home where I first experienced the love of the gospel. Even though Luella, mom, was not a church going women, she practice many Christ like attributes. Sunday dinner at their home became a tradition for Karl and I and soon our children.
The first Sunday I every sat at their table was something I never forgot. John sat at the head of the table, as usual, Luella to his left, while I was invited to set at his right. Karl sat next to me with Gary, Lynda and Susan. Coming from a family of brothers I was used to dishing my plate with healthily portions of meat and potatoes, this day was no different. When the potato bowl came around to Luella it was empty. Looking around the table I was embarrassed to see that the majority were sitting on my plate. And yet she gracefully brushed it off saying she wasn’t that hungry. Karl and I were dating then and I thought they would never have me back. I was so wrong.
When Lindsay was born Luella insisted that Karl and I sleep in Lynda’s room, where we spent a solid week. She got up during the night. She would bath Lindsay in the morning and waited on me hand and foot.
The day I went into labor with Scott I was laying on the couch on a Sunday afternoon at John and Luella’s while Luella was fixing dinner for us. I tried so very hard to have Scott that day as it was John’s birthday.
Doing dishes on Sunday was always a treat as Luella, Lynda, Susan and I would all pitch in. We had many good conversations while John, Gary and Karl were watching the football game through their eye lids. Luella always thanked me for helping.
Lying on blankets under the apple tree was another great place for conversation or entertainment of the smaller children.
While I had my salon Luella supported me for the entire time, sharing her appointments with Aunt Lillian. Again, we would have many talks about life and especially the grandchildren. Many nights she and John would just show up with a bag of corn or tomatoes from their garden or a new bags of socks or underwear for the kids.
When Heath died theirs was the first place we went to after the hospital. I can’t even image the pain they were in as we were so beset with our own. They hovered over us for weeks giving us support.
Her love of gardening was only second to her immaculate home. I remember when Gary decided he wanted a pet rabbit and it peed in the green rocker, Luella about come unglued. I think we had rabbit stew the next Sunday.
Even though many saw her as a meek and mild mannered lady there was also a side that angels feared to tread. Like the time that she and Karl were doing dishes. Luella’s sneezed and her false teeth flew out of her mouth into the dish water. Karl started to laugh and she promptly smashed a dinner plate over his head. Or the time in the garden when Ann Thompson ended up with a black eye…no one know the whole story of what happened there.
One year I asked Luella if we might combined our efforts and make a video of her life. I thought for sure she would said no, however, she agreed stating that she may have a hard time because she was not good at keeping secrets. Each Sunday for about four weeks I would tell Karl I was going to the chapel for a Relief Society rehearsal and head over to Luella's while Lynda and Susan were in church. I scripted the questions and would prompt her before starting the camera. On Christmas Eve when we celebrate our traditional family party and everyone had eaten and were all anxious to open gifts, I told them that I wanted to get us all in the Christmas spirit before hand by watching Mr. Kruger's Christmas. Their eyes rolled back in their head and the sigh of "Oh Mother" was obvious. I started the movie only instead it was Luella life story. Thank goodness I had thought ahead and had a box of tissues available. I don't think there was a dry eye in the crowd. Each family was presented with a copy for their Christmas.
Her last days were only made better by the angels that attended to her every need. Lynda and Susan have always been my sisters but now they are my hero’s.
Never have I seen a women more revered by her grandchildren than Luella. Her sense of humor only became more infectious the older she grew. She became quite a little pistol saying things that only laughter could mend.
I often wonder how I would act if I could not see, hear or do the many things of life I had been used to. The only thing she could enjoy in the end was eating at Maddox’s every Wednesday.
She waited, sometimes not so patiently, for the only thing that really mattered to her and that was for her family to visit. She would always say as you were leaving, "What’s your hurry", or, "Take your time going but hurry back." Then she would stand on the front porch waving good-bye. Now it is time for us to wave good-bye, but only until we meet again. I have referred to her as Luella today but she has been Mom from the beginning.
These young men are incredible. So kind and loving....so much fun!
